Bizoids and the beautiful: Inside the Birdcage at Derby Day 2023

This year we spotted fewer corporate power players. The range of sponsors bothering with a marquee appears down too. Though those that did pay for the privilege seemed determined to deliver on pomp and pageantry.

Having taken several years occupying the other end of the straight, Crown was on Saturday settling into its tent-pole role in the Birdcage, its three-story enclosure distinguished by its superb racetrack views along with the presence of an elevator (no mean feat in what is, after all, a lavishly decorated demountable). Amidst a crowd of high rollers and famous faces, Blackstone real estate boss Chris Tynan surveyed what he was paying for, while Crown chief Ciaran Carruthers kept an eye on the horses next to new Grand Prix CEO Travis Auld.

Deputy premier Ben Carroll was deep in conversation with Lindsay Fox’s right-hand man Ari Suss. Mining wheeler and dealer Tolga Kumova was downstairs with wife and actress Natassia Halabi, not far from defamation lawyer Justin Quill.

Crown’s second level could’ve been a Today Show set, Karl Stefanovic and Sarah Abdo being regularly approached by giddy fans for selfies, who paid no attention at all to Nine chief Mike Sneesby (also nearby).

Upstairs on the roof terrace, BGH Capital’s Ben Gray and Victorian politician wife Luba Grigorovitch caught up with former Victorian politician Phil Dalidakis (giving his tweeting thumbs a rest) not far from shadow attorney-general and former opposition leader Michael O’Brien.

For the highly-regulated Tabcorp, race week is key to the accumulation of both earnings and political capital. And while other operators might have stolen a march on younger customers, we can report that Tabcorp’s chairman Bruce Akhurst and CEO Adam Rytenskild are still big with the political bloc.

Popping in to say hello on Saturday were Skills and Training Minister Brendan O’Connor, House Speaker Milton Dick, Labor-affiliated lobbyists Ryan Liddell and Evan Moorhead and Maurice Blackburn’s Michael Cooney. Bill Shorten and Bridget McKenzie, we hear, were late scratchings. Flemington is of course part of Shorten’s electorate, which is why he always reminds everyone Derby Day is basically a constituency meeting. But not this year.

This was a Labor-heavy room in which Liberal powerbroker Michael Kroger rather stuck out (no wonder he was so interested in his form guide).

Also in residence were ING chief Mel Evans and former Australian cricket captain Michael Clarke, fresh from a TV appearance where he refused to discuss a rather momentous night in Noosa. Pup stayed in the Tabcorp kennel for the majority of the day, which is fair enough given he’s a salaried employee. The former cricketer hosts a show on a radio station owned by the big green giant.

Later, Harvey Norman’s Gerry Harvey and wife Katie Page popped into Tabcorp with the Herald & Weekly Times’ Penny Fowler. Hallelujah! A billionaire! Sure it was Gerry the Grump, but gee, we’ll take what we can get.

Slightly back from the main action, Penfolds’ was the place to be if you wanted free Grange (who wouldn’t). Ex-PwC chief Luke Sayers, a virtual Houdini, set up camp around the queue, knocking back rose with Gruen panellist and ad man Russel Howcroft (who he keeps on retainer) and consigliere Sammy Kumar.

The Penfolds balcony sagged under the weight of AFL tall men placing bets on iPhones and passing around vapes like schoolboys. Among the group was Geelong veterans Joel Selwood and Tom Hawkins and slick husband-wife team Buddy Franklin and Jesinta Campbell.

Slaloming around the tall timbers were The Age editor Patrick Elligett, racing scion Tom Waterhouse and Luxury Escapes founder Adam Schwab.

By the time the Derby rolled around everyone in Penfolds was riding Riff Rocket home, the winning jockey’s wife Katelyn McDonald screaming with PR maven Sarah Peatling for James McDonald down the straight.

Further along the row, Schweppes’ edible bubbles attracted yet more footy players, including star Magpies Nick Daicos, Mason Cox (without his shades), Tom Mitchell and Isaac Quaynor, who are now stretching the definition of a Mad Monday.

Champagne maker Mumm was putting on a party, Melbourne business figures guzzling on the fizzy stuff. Restaurater Chris Lucas was so deep in conversation with the likes of Scanlon & Theodore’s Gary Theodore, Vida Glow co-founder Kieran Lahey, property marketer James Cooper and Peter Andrews from fancy meat wholesaler Haverick Meats you’d think they were cooking up a deal just off the dance-floor. New restaurant lads?

Furphy’s tent, appropriately, resembled nothing so much as a pub, and hosted the requisite gaggle of publicans whose combined net worth (by some estimates) sat around $5 billion.

Cherry Bar owner James Young was one of many men to break the dress code, chatting to restaurateur Jason McConnell. Four Seasons condoms heir Michael Porter popped by with new husband Billy Mitchell (back from their society wedding in Lake Como).

The non-teal portion of the cross-bench was well-represented by both Jacqui Lambie and Ralph Babet, though the latter seemed to spend as much time in the enclosure as outside it, puffing on a cigar. One (sorta) publican not at Furphy: Public Hospitality Group’s Jon Adgemis, though we did spot him outside.

Our spies inside the Lexus marquee reported few we haven’t already mentioned, aside from Matt Damon and Alessandra Ambrosio. But we couldn’t verify that, because something this column wrote years ago has apparently offended the marquee’s organisers, who barred us entry. We can’t for the life of us remember what it was.

A row back from the track was a preponderance of paid pop-up bars, regular racegoers (that is, those partying on their own dime) paying a premium to enjoy the day somewhat sheltered from the crush. It’s more democratic, but far less exclusive.

If the Birdcage was a Qantas terminal, we’d say half of it has morphed from the Chairman’s Lounge into the regular Business Lounge, where one can just buy their way in. It’s nice, and millionaire’s row still goes all out, but it isn’t quite the same.

On the other end of the scale, the Victoria Racing Club has also put an end to the car-boot picnics popular with many members, to make space for various paid entertainment precincts. It’s a revenue-raising exercise, members and their guests being milked for all they’re worth.

It’s hard to imagine that in 2019 no less a drawcard than Taylor Swift was scheduled to play the Melbourne Cup. She pulled out (for “logistical” reasons) after animal rights groups kicked up a stink.

This year the Cup is spruiking Irish crooners The Corrs and Gen X superstar Mel C, otherwise known as Sporty Spice. Both were absolutely massive … in 1997.